Someone asked me yesterday, if I thought anyone wondered where I am blogwise....
There are actually several reasons for my absence these past weeks. They culminated at my computer going down on me, but the silence may have happened anyways.
We have had a week of illness and pains here, plus baseball has taken over our lives. Then a few more related issues. Like-
I hide from others. Not really hide (at all). More of, if I feel pressured or disagree, I'll do my part at shutting you out. I am very good at this. And with blogging being such a public outlet, certain people reading to form opinions and draw conclusions, made me reallly want to pack up shop. I've reminded myself that this is my spot. The only selfish part to me. But, it's still hard for me to move forward, knowing others that I perhaps want gone, can be here.
More importantly, I have missed just being "mommy". Not a "blogger/ from home business/ mom". That's how it had begun to feel. Writing. Designing. Photographing. Networking. Promoting. Planning. It was turning into an all the time. Taking away from the parts mentioned that I love. Not why I began to document in the first place.
I won't mention the feeling of letting others down. Through this blog. Also, in real life.
Blogging provides for many business women (especially). In ways, that actually provide for them to be at home. I speak these next words very loosely, as not to sound in any high way.
God provided for our family (me) in another way. We have "enough". That is what we have...enough for me to be here full time, all my attention to our family. When we made the choice two years ago for me to be home, we adjusted our wants and plans. My desires were, still are, probably always will be only for this "life of enough" we have.
So, I am stopping at the any extra for now. Not, not documenting... rather ensuring this space and other online activities are for enjoyment and personal growth only. Reminding myself where ALL my attention is directed. Listening to God's whispers and knowing what life he has provided. Honoring that.
As I mentioned, we are currently waist high in the three children's separate activities. I am exhausted by each weekend. Our other focus is on preparing our home as a better learning environment for next year. Apparently, I am a hoarder. Lots of cleaning, sorting, and rearranging going on over here. I have a timeline for this, before we then move on to a few minor structural changes for this new way of life. It's exciting!! But, time consuming... and I hope to complete mostly before Summer hits.
I'll be back, NOT REGULARLY scheduled when my computer is all better (this blogger iPhone deal is not for me). Until then, I think I'll close with perhaps the biggest change of all. No I am not expecting- just a hair update. My sweet boy is growing and has left his baby bowl "do" behind, and given me one rockin six year old instead.
Talk to you soon! Enjoy your own family as well until then...