There are actually several reasons for my absence these past weeks. They culminated at my computer going down on me, but the silence may have happened anyways.
We have had a week of illness and pains here, plus baseball has taken over our lives. Then a few more related issues. Like-
I hide from others. Not really hide (at all). More of, if I feel pressured or disagree, I'll do my part at shutting you out. I am very good at this. And with blogging being such a public outlet, certain people reading to form opinions and draw conclusions, made me reallly want to pack up shop. I've reminded myself that this is my spot. The only selfish part to me. But, it's still hard for me to move forward, knowing others that I perhaps want gone, can be here.
More importantly, I have missed just being "mommy". Not a "blogger/ from home business/ mom". That's how it had begun to feel. Writing. Designing. Photographing. Networking. Promoting. Planning. It was turning into an all the time. Taking away from the parts mentioned that I love. Not why I began to document in the first place.
I won't mention the feeling of letting others down. Through this blog. Also, in real life.
Blogging provides for many business women (especially). In ways, that actually provide for them to be at home. I speak these next words very loosely, as not to sound in any high way.
God provided for our family (me) in another way. We have "enough". That is what we have...enough for me to be here full time, all my attention to our family. When we made the choice two years ago for me to be home, we adjusted our wants and plans. My desires were, still are, probably always will be only for this "life of enough" we have.
So, I am stopping at the any extra for now. Not, not documenting... rather ensuring this space and other online activities are for enjoyment and personal growth only. Reminding myself where ALL my attention is directed. Listening to God's whispers and knowing what life he has provided. Honoring that.
As I mentioned, we are currently waist high in the three children's separate activities. I am exhausted by each weekend. Our other focus is on preparing our home as a better learning environment for next year. Apparently, I am a hoarder. Lots of cleaning, sorting, and rearranging going on over here. I have a timeline for this, before we then move on to a few minor structural changes for this new way of life. It's exciting!! But, time consuming... and I hope to complete mostly before Summer hits.
I'll be back, NOT REGULARLY scheduled when my computer is all better (this blogger iPhone deal is not for me). Until then, I think I'll close with perhaps the biggest change of all. No I am not expecting- just a hair update. My sweet boy is growing and has left his baby bowl "do" behind, and given me one rockin six year old instead.
Talk to you soon! Enjoy your own family as well until then...
13 comments:
I love the depths of honesty behind this post :) Your family should always come above all else. I recently evaluated the same things and have come to terms with the same solution. I am blessed enough to be a stay at home mom. Something I've always wanted to be, but never had the opportunity to .. until two years ago. So why throw that down the drain, by staying home and devoting the majority of my time to blogging and other internet related things? It's back to basics for me. Back to the things that matter most. Some of my readers may not be satisfied with that decision, but I, as well as my family ... is. And that's what truly matters :)
I'm so glad you posted! I'd been wondering where you were too. Praise God for women like you who prioritize family and home!
Danielle, you always inspire me. I feel so proud to know you and to see you stand for what you know is important! I will look forward to the updates you do give and wish you luck friend!! xoxo
I am going through this same thing now. I can really relate. I took a week off, and enjoyed every moment with my family, now I know what I want for my blog.
I can relate to this and I love your honesty. I have been having these feelings as well. I've been wanting to spend more time with my kids, my house is a wreck, I had no idea blogging would take up so much time especially starting sponsor swaps in February. I took on too much and sometimes I feel like I can't go back. I love that you shared this because it gives me perspective and a deeper understanding of who you are and the heart you have for your family. Thanks for sharing this. I look forward to hearing from you when you are able to. :)
Agreeing with the other comments, your honesty here is lovely. You have big, wonderful changes ahead for you and I'm so very excited to hear you have made the decision to home school. I shall be following your plans and preparations and experiences with great (p)interest! ;))
Although my homeschooling time is possibly only for a 4 month period while we are in Italy, I'm still excited to be able to give my big boy this home learning experience, and who knows, maybe we will both LOVE it and THRIVE from it and continue with it?! A bit of a freaky thought, but I'm open to it :)
Take it easy lovely lady and keep enjoying your beautiful family xxx
Danielle, your honesty hits so close to home. Isn't it funny how a hobby can so quickly turn into an obligation when people start paying attention to it. Good for you for making the choices you have made. We are so blessed to have enough (and more than we deserve) and acknowledgement of that fact is half the battle. I love that you have redirected the blog train before it has consumed you. This is a great reminder to keep it all in perspective. Thank you, my friend.
Danielle, all I can say is, I could have written this myself. I had some run ins with friends over matters worthy of debate a week or so ago, and I just wanted to put, well, a bullet in my laptop. I was like, having an aversion to the internet. But I always feel this thing hanging over my head... I actually made the same decision... to stop doing "stuff" because I felt like I needed to be doing that kind of stuff to draw in readers. I don't even have any money to buy ads this month. And what I find is that actually readers really just want to know about ME and for me to be honest and real and for the blog to be a good reflection of my life, because that's why they're here... And I spend way too much time in front of the computer and it makes me feel like a zombie.
Anyways, I totally feel ya girl and find it funny that we're kinda in the same boat.
lovely! Glad you posted!
i sure love you, and miss you, too.
sending you hugs. praying!
you're such an inspiration. JUST the way you are.
creative
mama
encourager
dreamer
and sometimes comedienne:)
xo
I love you ma'am!! I think you're just the best!!!!
~Mel
miss you girl!! :)
Danielle, so happy to read this post. Although I miss your regular blogging, sounds as though this is a very healthy choice for you. Knowing we share many similar qualities, I had often worried about you and the pressure you must put on yourself...to do all that you do...with three little ones. I am only now able to do this... as a solace...as all mine are almost out the door.
Enjoy your now, for soon enough life will again change,
Sending you much love my friend.
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